The appropriate way to face fears of flying or anything of a similar type nature is to cede control at the appropriate time.
The moment you board the place and sit down, you no longer have control of the situation until the plane either lands or crashes and there is no point in being afraid.
In the case of commercial jets, you should attack this problem from a couple different angles. First, do as much research as necessary to give yourself the logical justification to comfortably think about getting on that plane. The amount required for different people to feel comfortable varies, but may include topics such as:
- Average experience of commercial pilots
- Required yearly training for commercial pilots
- Statistics for safe flights
- Required maintenance for aircraft
- Risks of air travel vs ground travel
- OPTIONAL: How plane wings, engines, etc. actually work
- OPTIONAL: How takeoff and landings work
- OPTIONAL: Turbulence and how it affects the aircraft – this can be helpful for those who only get nervous when there is turbulence. While a ride may be uncomfortable quickly, it is not dangerous until a certain point.
Note that the optional ones are ones that many people don’t need or care about if they do not need to understand technology, but some more physics type people tend to need the physics understanding to feel comfortable.
Next, take a minute before boarding and logically evaluate the experience of most pilots, the safety records, the need to travel, the risks, and then make the conscious logical decision to get on board (or not too). Realize that this is the easier part as fear is extremely difficult to logic your way out of; however, this step is important as it provides a baseline for you to continue on.
When you are about to board, stop in front of the door and feel the fear, all of it, working your way though both good and bad outcomes. Try then to relax. Take a deep breathe, and then completely surrender fear and all associated emotions to the pilot who is in control of your safe landing.
Decide that you have released the fear when you choose to get onto the plane and that from this point until you get off, nothing is in your hands, so there is nothing to be afraid of and the last decision that you have in the matter has been made.
Simply take in the experience from this point on. This is different than brute forcing through the fear as you can only tell your mind logical statements to a certain point. Instead, here you acknowledge and accept the fear and then surrender it. It sounds a bit mystical and woo woo, but it works for me.
Note that this does make the entrance to the aircraft a bit traumatic and that you might want to be one of the last people to board when you do this so as not to have someone rush you through your process.
The above tips have made flying comfortable for a lot of frequent travellers and we know perfectly it will solve your issue as well.